on hotness and machines
Someone posted in Blogging Baby about hot moms. Most of us, per the comments, are thinking we are lukewarm at best. Shane for one is not getting the conjugal attention he'd like, but assures me I am still a sexy chica. Turning thirty and giving birth a month later has made me feel like I aged a decade in the past year. I'd like to think that I have, emotionally. The physical stuff is a mixed bag. I love my silver hairs, all goddessy and mature. The wrinkles, not so much, but they aren't bad really. What I'm thinking really needs help is my wardrobe. I've spent too many hours nursing Molly and watching the Style network and wishing for some trendy new clothes. Then I feel like a superficial shit for daydreaming about a makeover and watching crappy TV. The truth is, though, nursing in the beginning is constant and a little boring. Such a nasty habit, though. Shane and I don't want Molly watching TV until she is 3 or so. We are still indulging ourselves more than we should. I've instated a no-TV-until-8:00pm rule for myself this week.
My current parent-paranoia is about Molly's gadgets. We don't have alot of stupid baby equipment, but she has an automatic swing. It's been nicknamed baby crack. She loves this thing, and will go to sleep faster than rocking in a chair with me. I had imagined working on the house and at the computer with her in a sling, but she hates her sling usually. The swing lets us get things done. Why do I feel guilty about using it? Her other machine is a Kick and Play bouncy chair- and this toy I love. She can activate the lights and music herself already, which makes me think she is a genius. It's so cool to see her stimulated and aware and staring inquisitively at the colors and blinkies. She can entertain herself for a while in that, and at least it's not putting her to sleep. I just hate not being in contact with her. I have to go back to work tomorrow after a long weekend, and I want cuddle time. But I have logos and a website to finish, and a cousin's wedding invitations to design. At least I can stare at her while she's swinging.
2 comments:
Hi Heidi,
I only have a quick second to comment because I have dear, busy, play-with-me, why?, Satchel at my side. I don't know if you've perhaps already read it, but I always recommend "You Are Your Child's Frst Teacher" written by Rahima Baldwin, to new parents. It is a wealth of decision making wisdom! xo Marianne
I love Baby Crack. I laughed out loud at that one. And I know, I clearly remember, those early nursing days - I remember the boredom and the fantasies of clothes, body, looking good, feeling like one hot mama (which I certainly did NOT). When Satch was born, Extreme Makeover was in its heyday and I watched alot of crap tv to get me through the endless hours of nursing on the couch. I'd watch tv and then I would wish myself skinny, tan, and perky-boobed. And be so pissed at myself that I cared when I had this gorgeous, dreamy babe at my breast.
It's the territory, isn't it? I pictured myself happy and carrying my babe in a sling, down at the hip coffee house for a latte every morning after my 5 mile jog. Yeah, right.
Anyway, what I came over here about was your art. I got chills when I saw the piece 'mother line.' You are brilliant. I had to tell you how much that piece spoke to me on physical level. It reached out and grabbed me. Thank you for sharing with me.
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