guilty

I am so guilty of this- an article in the Times, via Blogging Baby, describes moms who want help but don't want to relinquish control.

http://www.bloggingbaby.com/2006/07/28/moms-want-more-but-they-want-it-done-right/

While I couldn't ask for more help- Shane is awesome (!) and has Molly while I work- I am unfortunately the poster child for a controlling mother. I am trying to force this loose in my brain, but it is really hard to let go. I am making an honest effort to be more relaxed and let Shane do things his way, because I have apparently been a real bitch about it. It's very difficult for me to leave her all day and not know where she is & what she's doing every single minute. I also am convcinced that I'm the only person in the world who knows anything about babies, having read with rapt interest every book and website I could find on nursing and newborn care. Shane promises me he's doing fine with his intuitive, on-the-job-training approach. A conversation with a co-worker today confirms that I "know too much." I'm hoping as I get more used to working (and it is getting much easier) and being a mother in general, that I'll give the psychic umbilical cord a little more slack. I see my future self as a laid-back fun silly mama of a young child, but so far as the parent of an infant I am a freak.